Introversion and the Art of Blending In
Believe me when I say that being an introvert comes with its own prejudice. People often think that you won't be as efficient as an extrovert because you do not like to be a part of “water cooler discussions” and other “non-task related chit-chat” that often happens in the workplace. You don’t understand what to say after: 'Oh yes, the weather is good'. And to be quite honest, you’d rather go home and finish that show, on your own with a bowl of popcorn, rather than going out with a gang of people.
It's not that introverts don’t like doing these things - ever - they do, but within their own comfort zone and with the people they are comfortable with. It's not an exaggeration to say that being an introvert makes you miss out on some opportunities.
So what to do when you’d like to take up an internship, but you’re scared of how to make a good first impression with people you’ve never met; how to be sure that when you speak that you’re actually adding value; and how to be likable when words and compliments and chit-chat don’t flow easily?
My name is Neha Solanki, I’m a Creative Marketing Intern at Garleff Coaching and Consulting Group (GCCG). As part of the internship, I’m learning how to write blogs, and I’ll be posting these regularly. With this skill, I’ll be able to build a portfolio that will help me launch a great career.
We decided on the title “The Introverted Intern” because as an organization that deals with executive coaching and leadership, how I learn and grow during the internship will reflect not only my personal journey, but some of the lessons learned that might be helpful to others.
What does introversion actually mean? As per WebMD, an introvert is “more comfortable focusing on their inner thoughts and ideas, rather than what’s happening externally.” They might prefer quiet activities over large social events. It's just how they feel most comfortable!
And this is what most people believe introversion to be. But it’s not quite the whole picture. As Anna Garleff, our CEO, explained to me: Extroverts need constant external stimulation to be able to make decisions, whereas an introvert deeply analyzes the situation and relies on their inward energy for decision making.
In simpler words, an extrovert comes to a decision while talking to other people. That social prompt and push is required for them to come to a point of decision-making- where their brain is stimulated to the energy of the social interaction they are a part of. However, an introvert tends to turn towards their own thoughts and feelings more than anything else. They are comprehensive thinkers and like to weigh the possibilities on their own without outward disruptions. Introverts like to have their alone-time to process their thoughts and then come to a decision.
And this is interesting, because knowing how we make decisions, and what is required for us to make good decisions, is an important part of self-awareness and leadership. For young people starting out in their careers, what else can we introverts do to network well in our first organizations?
Here are three tips and tricks I learnt in this internship till now, that I thought are worth sharing with all. These are useful tips, especially if you are an introvert and find yourself a little lost in the world that moves on conversations.
1) NETWORKING FOR INTROVERTS: In order to network around, an introvert has to get out of their comfort zone. They need to interact and get social with people, which to them- surprise, surprise- is very uncomfortable.
How to sail through this uncomfortable world of networking?
Instead of a group setting, try connecting with people one-on-one first. The fewer the people, the better it is to communicate your thoughts with them. Once you are well-acquainted with them individually, it becomes easier to talk to them in a group while networking.
Try meeting people virtually. If face-to-face discussions are something that makes you nervous, try getting on a call with them first. Maybe set-up an online meeting to get to know them better. Create a comfort zone with them and gradually develop a bond.
2. MANAGING SMALL TALK: At the risk of sounding dramatic, small talk is draining for an introvert. We generally avoid small talk, simply because we fail to understand the need for it. In most cases, it sounds fake. But as it turns out, small talk is really important as it is the first step of starting a conversation with someone.
Here’s how we can improve to make small talk:
Do not overthink and just go for it. Easier said than done, but that’s the end of it. The more we think about it, the more difficult it gets. We are often so consumed by our own thoughts and miss out on the topics where conversations start very naturally. Be observant and take initiative to start that conversation.
Ask questions and try to stay relevant. Questions are a great conversation starter but open-ended questions work like a charm. Instead of asking questions that can be answered in “yes” or “no”, ask questions where more information is given to you. Then ask follow-up questions or share an anecdote related to that.
3) CHECK-INS WITH THE TEAM: Introverts like to stay alone but they can be very reliable and thriving in a team setting. They are good listeners but often find it frustrating to convey what they want, because they don’t like to be loud and talkative.
How to be better in a team?
Prepare before the meeting. It is important to get your thoughts in sync first before you go for a meeting. Immediate responses can be difficult for an introvert as they need time to process their thoughts before speaking. Therefore, try to write-down your thoughts around the agenda of the meeting and speak up on that. And remember, it’s okay to go with the flow of the conversation.
Connect and check-in with your team members. Do not wait for others to come and talk to you; go and take the opportunity to connect with your teammates yourself. Ask them for a coffee and discuss the things. Try to build a professional relationship that helps you give a sense of understanding and belonging in the office space.
In short, try to get out of your comfort zone and ace those conversations. Let go of the fear of judgement, because in most cases, the only person judging you is yourself in your own mind.
You need the right blend—charm, curiosity, and a dash of bravery—to stir up those connections. Don’t overthink and remember that asking for help is okay.
My next blog articles are going to be about things I learn along the way, and I look forward to sharing them with you, dear readers. From the safety of my keyboard, it’s a good start for me to come out of my shell and learn new ways of communicating.
About the Author
Neha is a Content Writer who loves to travel and write about her life along the way. She is a Creative Marketing Intern at Garleff Coaching and Consulting Group(GCCG). If you loved this blog, please let us know.
Neha Solanki Cell: +1 437 665 2642 / neha.garleffcoaching@gmail.com
www.garleffcoaching.com